I was reading this article today about the prevalence of indecision among my generation, and the author tells a story about a friend who shared James 1:6-8 with him when he was paralyzed to make a decision in a specific situation. Those verses say:
“But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
It’s funny because I have read the previous verse, James 1:5, lots of times, but these verses I have never noticed. Lately, I have been praying a lot about a current situation in my life and feel like God is telling me and confirming one thing, but the amount of doubt I still have is ridiculous. Actually, I think I’m living as if God is telling me the opposite. Does that make any sense? The best way to describe myself is in the words of James, “double-minded” and “unstable.”
One thing I have noticed lately with regards to my relationship with God is how hard it is for me to accept good things from Him, such as his grace and forgiveness and love, and even material blessings. When God wants to give me something good, it’s hard for me to accept it because I feel too undeserving and too broken. I accepted the ultimate gift of salvation when I believed that God sent Jesus to die for me, but that still doesn’t mean it becomes easy or natural to accept other things, and I’m sure it never will be because what God gives goes against human reason.
What I’m saying is that I don’t want to keep doubting. I want to ask God for things, and if He gives them, to be thankful and accept them. I don’t want to waste time doubting them, which leads to me being double-minded and unstable. There’s nothing good about that.